You must wonder what goes on in the mind of godly man? Well, this is exactly what goes on inside of here. This is my mentality…This is the thinking process of the creative genius that I am. This is what I do, all day, every day. I sit on my godly throne, and I think. I contemplate things. I strategize. I just think. I think way too much. Maybe too much for sanity. Maybe I’ve thought so much about thinking too much that I’ve lost my grasp on sanity, or perception. Perception is only a concept, though. It’s one of those “in the eye of the beholder” things. My eyes are fine. I see clearly what I have to do. I have to continue being godly. I’m not golden, but I am godly…at least god-like. I’m that great, if you ask me. But this thinking thing, it obviously proves what i’m sayign about myself. There’s no way I can be wrong when I’m constantly thinking this over, looking at every nook and cranny, every inch of my soul…If I have a soul still. How can be deny my greatness still? Seriously. They’ll begin to open their minds once I show them the way. The way, through my fists and feet. my fury. My anger. My skills. My everything. I will lead these non-believers to the salvation that is believing in me, Geoff Houston.
Geoff Houston.
Geoff Houston.
Geoff Houston.
Fear Geoff Houston. Avoid Geoff Houston. Bow down to Geoff Houston. Don’t want to get hit by Geoff Houston. Want to live the life of Geoff Houston. Get blessed by Geoff Houston. Get knighted by Geoff Houston. Lose to Geoff Houston. Be Humbled by Geoff Houston. Get touched by Geoff Houston. Go on a date with Geoff Houston. Make out with Geoff Houston, ladies. Ride in limos with Geoff Houston. Go shopping with Geoff Houston. Stare in Geoff Houston’s mirror. Bring Geoff Houston his drinks. Go get Geoff Houston’s dry cleaning. Washing Geoff Houston’s car. Being Geoff Houston’s lover, ladies. Sip wine with Geoff Houston. Share a bathtub with Geoff Houston. Be Geoff Houston. It’s the only way to live.
The scene: An airport. Planes landing and taking off, like any other normal airport. Except this airport has been blessed by the arrival of a plane containing Geoff Houston. The plane has landed already, and the passengers are getting off the plane. They’re all walking down that tunnel thingy. There he is. Geoff Houston. We see him walking out of the tunnel and down the corridor to the exit area, when a kid walks up to him.)
Hey, aren’t you…Geoff Houston? You’re in CPW!
Yes, yes I am. But how do you know who I am?
You’re my favorite wrestler, ever!
I shouldn’t be. I’m the bad guy, dammit. I’m the guy you’re not supposed to like at all. I’m the guy you’re supposed to hate and want to kill whenever you see him. I’m evil. I’m the guy who’ll cheat to win. I’m the guy who doesn’t care about morality, because I am above moral. I set the example that morals are derived from. You shouldn’t like me, kid, you should LOVE me! But seriously, why would you like me?
Cause you’re my favorite! You’re so…GODLY! Can I have your autograph…?
Normally I say no, but you said I’m godly, so I’ll have to give you one.
The scene: Geoff Houston pulls out a pen and signs the piece of paper that the kid hands to him. He hands the kid the piece of paper and the kid starts to walk away. Geoff Houston grabs the kid by the arm before he goes away.
I never did this kid. And if you tell ANYONE I ever did this for you, I’ll find where you live. I’ll know that you live in some podunk Iowa town. On some little dirt road. In a brick house at the end of that dirt road. In the second floor of that brick house. The first room on the right. In the right corner of the room. I’ll know where you sleep. I’ll find you, and I’ll hunt you down and kill you. And do you know why I would? Because I’m bad like that, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me, because I know I’m godly. I don’t care what you think, or your mother, or her mother, or anyone else alive and kicking or dead today. I’m as good as it gets, and if you force me to prove it to you, I will. I don’t need some kid making me look like a fool. You are just like my opponents and possible, but most likely opponents on sunday. They have no chance to win. You’re looking at the future of the Elimination Champion.
You know who I am. I’m Geoff Houston, dammit. You know, all your friends know, all their friends know. Everyone on the planet knows who Geoff Houston, and how great he is. I’m a walking gold statue. I’m a walking messiah. I’m the savior of man, and his evil. I am above all of that! I am the man who is going to become Elimination Champion, because they are going to just HAND me the belt! That’s how good I am! I am above ratings, above rankings. I am too great to be described in words. Or statues, monuments, artwork, songs, everything. I am why they made the “do not worship multiple gods” in the ten commandments, because I am that godly of a man. Not claiming to be perfect, though. I’m just stating how much better than the rest of the world that I am. I’m Geoff Houston, and they better start respecting me. Because they know I’m better than them.
The scene: Geoff Houston finally let go of the boy, and he ran off in fear. Geoff Houston picked up his bags, and resumed his walk towards the exit of the airport. He stopped, and looked around the airport, before smirking, and continuing his strut.
That’s Geoff Houston, the greatest man alive today.
You’re god damn right I am.
