[A large entertainment hall, a theater of sorts. Filled with around 50-75 people, varying in race, height, weight, gender. A stage with a podium on it. Colored banners cover the ceiling above the stage. Then all of a sudden, a giant banner unrolls from the ceiling, revealing the face of none other than Geoff Houston, and the crowd stares silently. Geoff Houston looks out from behind the curtain and sees the crowd doing nothing. Then he stands up, fixes his shirt, and walks out to the podium. Still no applause.]
Announcer: Now introducing to you people, the self-proclaimed number 1 contender for the CPW Elimination Championship, to be defended by it’s champion El Chico de Sweetness at Damnation and a Day III on Sunday, April 3, 2005. In a match with Geoff Houston, Brad Jennings, Hardcore Jay, and RPM. Now on stage, Geoff Houston!
[Still no applause.]
Houston: Good evening. As you may all know, I am…Geoff Houston, CPW Superstar, and contender for the CPW Elimination Championship. I know you all do not like me. That, for fact, does not bother me in the least bit. My mentor and numerous time champion in the wrestling world, SV, has taught me that to care for the fan’s opinion is to, well, care too much about something unimportant. And when someone as respected as SV tells you something, well, you listen.
He also told me something I’ll always hold dear and in high regards. To be champion, is in fact, not to be better than everyone else, but in fact to out think them, to be one step ahead, to be the better in-ring strategist. You’ll never have to be the biggest man, the strongest man, the fastest, the showiest. But you just have to be able to react to every move with every step of the way.
[Geoff goes to speak, and someone stands up in the crowd.]
Man: Geoff Houston, YOU SUCK! YEAH!
[Geoff Houston looks at the man, tilts his head. He turns towards the curtain and nods. A security guard walks out the door to the side of the stage and over to the man in the crowd. The guard pulls out a cloth and walks up behind the man. He douses the cloth with a liquid and then wraps it over the mouth of the man. The man shrieks and passes out, and the guard drags him through the door to the side of the stage. Geoff smirks.]
Houston: See that? That’s the point I’m trying to make. I have a reaction for every action taken against me whenever I need to. It’s no different inside of a ring, I’ve strategized and plotted out what I need to do. I may not know what the every move of my opponents will be, but I damn sure know what my reaction will be to their every move. I will not be taken advantage of, I will not succumb, I will not falter, I will become the next Elimination Champion. I will become THE ELIMINATION CHAMPION. Maybe even the best ever. Who knows? Maybe I know, but I don’t know if I know whether or not I’ll know to tell you people or not, you know?
That brings me to my next point. Let’s think about this logically, people. I’m the only viable solution for the occupancy of the Elimination Championship. El Chico, I’ve ranted many times about his … his … his … shortcomings … and let me hit the key points that I should review to you about him and why he shouldn’t be the Elimination Champion. First, he is a sex pervert, and will someday end up molesting ALL of your children, yours and mine alike. And we won’t like it, but we will have to accept it, because we will have let him get away. But that won’t have to happen if he’s not Elimination Champion. Second, he masturbates far too often, far too furiously. He even DID IT IN A MATCH. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. WE MUST STOP THIS VULGAR DISPLAY OF INDECENCY. With Chico no longer the Elimination Champion, we will no longer have to deal with these blatant shows of raw sexual pride. So, find it in your hearts to accept me, Geoff Houston, as the NEW Elimination Champion!
Now, I’ll discuss Hardcore Jay. He claims to be hardcore. He claims to even be … extreme. He claims to be a champion in something we should not given even the slightest damn about. But we have to ask ourselves… is he extreme? Is he really THAT hardcore? Is he even a man? The answer to those questions are simple. No, he is not. In this day and age, it is far too easy to claim to be extreme, or hardcore. Hell, I fucked a girl in the ass one time, that’s pretty hardcore, but do I claim to be hardcore? Not in the slightest. As for extreme, I took a poop in a public place once, NOW THAT’S EXTREME! But I do not claim to be extreme. I just claim to be the best in-ring strategist. So for my points on Hardcore Jay, he’s a useless piece of trash, and being hardcore and extreme is complete shit now a days.
Onto…Brad Jennings. I don’t know very much about this man. I don’t evne know what he, she, or they even do in the ring. All I know is, this is the only even slight threat to me in this match. He, she, or they are going to be an uphill battle, even if that hill is a 10 degree angle. I have 5 or 6 days to watch tapes, to review matches, to watch their strategy in the ring, if there is any. But I tell you people this, come this sunday, I will be ready for Brad Jennings. I will be prepared with a reaction for each one of his, her or their actions. Brad Jennings, I look you in the eye, man to man, and I tell you, I will find a way to outsmart you, outdo you, outwit you, and downright beat you. I have 5 or 6 days to figure it out, to figure you out. No puzzle will take a person that long if they focus. Yes Brad Jennings, I acknowledge your talent and ability, but I hold my own in higher regard.
Now for the last contender…RPM. Who the hell is this guy? Some redneck from Podunk? Didn’t I beat him in a match for the Dual Pandemonium Championships once? Why yes, yes I did. SO I know what to expect from him, even if it’s him making out with Slider for the entire match. I’m ready for each ace up his sleve with a brick in my palm. Face to brick action. Here’s a visual.
[Geoff makes a fist with his hand, representing a brick. He opens his other hand like a face. He smashes them together repeatedly, screaming and yelling in pain each time.]
Houston: See? That’s what will happen with RPM. I don’t expect him to do much aside from maybe itching my ass with his facial ass, as he’ll be kissing my ass in the match. RPM, I’m far beyond ready for you, hell, I’ve already had a match with you before, and I was victorious. So, you should be out of spirit knowing you have to face me in another match. No way you can beat me, son, it’s just that simple. So RPM, I offer you the chance to leave this match, and be replaced by someone else. It’s that simple. Either you leave, or you get hurt. By me, by everyone else. You don’t belong in this match, you toothless hick.
Now, people in the crowd, people who may be listening via radio, internet, TV, or however so. I plea this to you, ask yourself. Ask yourself what you want? Ask yourselves what your friends want. What you family wants. What will do you good. Ask what you need to ask, to be happy. I asked myself what would make me happy, and I answered, simply. I answered, to become Elimination Champion. I motivated myself to this point, with the guidance of SV, I am more than ready. I am perfected to go. I’ve got my strategies to work with. And come this sunday, I will be complete, and ready. I will be at the top of my game. I am Geoff Houston, and I want to be YOUR next ELIMINATION CHAMPION! Thank you and good night!
[Geoff throws his hands in the air and smiles. A small amount of people start to clap like a golf clap. Geoff puts his arms down, and walks off stage, waving as he leaves. After a minute he appears out of the door to the side of the stage, and he walks out to the crowd, and starts to shake hands, and answer questions. He shakes one last hand, and then walks to the door to the exit of the building. He reaches the door, turns to the crowd, holds a hand up, and waves. "Good night!"]
